Friday, August 12, 2011

Inside the Life of a Swinger



Ever wondered what it's really like to be a swinger? We chat exclusively to Julie Saunders from our Australians Exposed documentary, '.Sex, Lies, Double Lives

How and when did you first get involved in the swinging lifestyle?
David started Club True Blue about 11 years ago. David and his partner at the time saw an advert in a local paper and thought it sounded interesting and rang to enquire and booked in. They went to a few parties, liked the concept but some of the venues we’re pretty ordinary and thought it could be done better, nicer venues and attract a better/different crowd. 
Myself, I have been involved in the lifestyle for about 7-8 years now. We don’t consider it a business as such, we just provide a clean, safe and secure environment for likeminded people to get together for some mutual fun. It’s a great social night too.

As a teenager or young adult, did you ever think you would end up where you are now in terms of your relationship and lifestyle?
No, never. I don’t think I even knew the term “swinger”.

Did you experiment with bisexuality in your younger years?
Yes, once when I was in early teens. I think that is quite normal and I’m sure a lot of young people do experiment.

What is the best part of swinging for you?
I love the social aspect of the parties and we’ve been so fortunate to have made some wonderful friends through the parties over the years. Also being able to share great sexual experiences with my wonderful partner with some wonderful friends we’ve made through the scene.

Are there any negatives? Do you ever get jealous?
The green eyed monster raised its head a few times early on and I think that’s part of learning both about yourself and also the swinging scene and also you learn so much about your relationship and trust and communication. Negatives???

What is the biggest myth about swingers?
The biggest myth is that swingers are sleazy or deviates couldn’t be more further from the truth. Your best friend, boss, sister, cousin etc. could be involved in the scene. The media does portray it totally wrong also, and they don’t do their homework/research very well (eg. The Herman Rockefeller case, a perfect example. He was not a swinger, just a married man cheating on his wife).

What advice do you give a couple who is considering swinging for the first time? What are the most common questions from these first-timers
Communicate with each other, be totally open and honest, that is most important. And when going to a party, never drink too much, you’ll end up having a miserable time and won’t remember a thing, regardless of whether you join in the fun or not. Some common questions are “do we have to join in?”, “what type of people attend?” (always love that one). “What do we wear?”. Occasionally we will get people that want to know the exact age and size of people that attend which, if they’re asking those questions, they don’t fully understand what swinging is about.

While it’s difficult to come across any accurate statistics, how common do you think swinging is these days in Australia and around the world?
Swinging in Australia is growing. We always have first timers attend our parties and we take lots of calls from people curious to know about the parties. In America it’s a very big thing. In Florida a year or two ago they had a huge festival type organisation that attracted 1,000s of people from across the world and in Vegas (and I’m sure other states also) they have conferences specific to the scene. In France there is a town that is completely nude, and I mean everything, from shops to restaurants etc. There are areas of the town/beaches that are dedicated for swingers to have some fun and get intimate. Yes, it is growing

What kinds of people are involved in the swinging lifestyle and come to your parties? Are there any common backgrounds, professions or traits?
There are no common backgrounds or traits etc for those that are swingers. We have people from all backgrounds, races and professions attend. Doctors, Academics, people in the legal profession (lawyers, police officers etc), teachers, truck drivers, business owners, architects, you name it. You can’t pigeon hole a swinger.

Describe a typical Club True Blue party you held at your house. How does it begin? And how does it proceed?
Our parties start at 9pm and people usually arrive between 9-10pm. When they arrive, David or myself will show them around and introduce them to the other guests that are here, (it helps to break the ice) and answer any questions they may have. Usually for the first hour it’s very social; people will mix and mingle, have a few drinks, which is a great way to get to find out who they may be interested in playing with.

After this time, people will dress down into anything from erotic wear or lingerie or nothing; really whatever they’re comfortable wearing or not, then the fun begins. The nights are run in a very relaxed, social and friendly environment and there is no pressure to do anything that people are not comfortable with, which makes it a lot nicer introduction for first timers. The evenings usually finish up about 1.30-2am but of course this depends on the crowd and will sometimes finish later.

What rules do people have to abide at your parties?
We don’t allow single males, we always encourage and promote safe sex, no drug use and for people just to have fun and enjoy themselves.

Are there many people pretending to be swingers - particularly online? How do you weed these people out? 
There are 100s of people, predominantly single men that pretend to be swingers. Swinging is about couples, for those that are interested to research the history of it. You get to spot the fakes pretty quick, from words that are used and if speaking online, it’s pretty easy and quick to find out if you’re talking to someone who is not genuine. If they ask to see photos straight up, you can nearly guarantee it’s a guy.

The biggest problem is that there are very few, if any, swinger specific sites out there, they are mostly mixed up with adult dating sites, so it does become a pain, shifting through all the pretenders. And then there is an adult dating site that was in the news late last year that was actually taken to court and fined because they had put up phony profiles. The best way I find to deal with the real and not real is to give them your phone number and invite them to call you. That sorts them out very quickly.

Are you worried about how your friends, family & colleagues will react after they find out?
No not at all. Most of our friends (true friends) do know about it and are totally fine with it, it’s not and never has been an issue. Some have been actually quite excited to find out and there is always a barrage of questions. We don’t hurt anyone and are probably more secure, honest and trusting within our relationship than those who are not involved within the scene.

Do you have any plans to stop swinging or do you plan to continue for as long as you enjoy it?
Hehehe, as long as there is Viagra around for the guys, no plans to stop